I just have this weird filling. This week has been crazy to say the least. I had planned to then the first round of the holidays. I have never really been one for family stuff and this year with the divorce going on I thought it would be better for myself and my health to just stay home. Well my dad after knowing that I wanted to spend the holiday alone asked me to go to breakfast with him on Thanksgiving. Since I was asked and felt like I had no choice so I went out with him.
The whole morning was weird. First off he showed up late which I hate that. DON’T WASTE MY TIME. He is the one that wanted to go out the least he could have done was to be on time. After all I had to get up and miss football to make him happy. When he showed up he was driving another person car. This person was a girl, this girl person also had kids. I know this because the car keys had a pink pepper spray container and other girly stuff on it. I know the person had kids there was kid trash in the car. This like empty bug juice containers that only kids drink. To top it all off when I was talking to my dad on the phone a few days before a newborn baby was crying.
Of course there were a lot of things and question that I wanted to ask but I just can’t bring myself to do it. It just seems wrong to question my dad. I know even know were my dad is right now. All I know that is he is the state of South Carolina. I know that he is doing some messed up stuff. But the fact that he is doing it makes me question. Should I know that he has a girlfriend (my mother told me that he had a new girlfriend as soon as he moved out and I am assuming that the car belonged to his girl. Is that something I should know about of is it known of my business. When this whole divorce thing started dad didn’t even see fit to tell me or my brother or anyone for that matter. His own mother found out from my momma. I was so angry with him and when I talked to him about he just kinda blew it off.
Oh and momma is not innocent in this matter either. I can’t talk to here about anything. She is so bitter about it and is playing the,”this came out of nowhere card” and the,” He did this to us so you should be mad”. She wants us to pick side. She wants me to ask dad all the question that I have not so that sI will feel better so that she can do because dad not talking to her much. She is acting so helpless and needed and it just seems so over the top but this is a really hard thing for her. She has every right to feel this way but I still feel like something should be different.
I just wanted to send the holiday away from all of that. Being myself was going to be better then dealing with any of them. Anyway since I spend time with dad I decided to go see my mom. It mad her happy so I guess it works out right.
Along with parent stress school has not been fun either. My financial aid was taken from me so I freaked out for a week and then it was finally seen that there was a mistake made by the people that give me aid and that got fixed so that worked out great. Sometimes life was you to be on your two at all times lol.
Speaking of stress weight gain has been a major issue. I have gain a lot of weight since this summer for all sorts of reason depression is the major reason but hopefully it will start coming off soon with things actually looking up minus the stupid stuff with my parents.
I no longer have to go to therapy. My therapist think that I am strong and well enough to not have to in once a week. Which is a big step. I feel like I have learn a lot during therapy but I hated going so I am glad it is over. I amd still on meds but hopefully I will be off of those soon. It will probably be sometiem in the new year. I’m just glad that I am getting better and moving the right direction.
I also have an amazing boyfriend.